she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
