don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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