i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
