yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
