went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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