11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
