you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
