Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
