I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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