Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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