What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
