But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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