I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
