S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
What drink are we having for lunch?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
