Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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