What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
operation harelip BJ is a go
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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