i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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