Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
