Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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