I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the condom got lost in my hair
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
