Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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