i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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