Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
