I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
