If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
