I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
