k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
