dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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