something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
