My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
