Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
