so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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