By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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