Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
