i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
