The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
