I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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