Don't you send me to vm
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
