there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
