Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
