I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
