Whod you bang
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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