Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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