note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
