the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
