So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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