oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
