So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
