dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
