And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
